The Revolution Will Not Serve Budweiser

This poem is dedicated to my friend Rob Zifchak who is currently 14 months sober and going strong.  Rob, your strength to stay clean inspires me to keep true to my self.  Thanks for your friendship.

Well, hello attractive person who is also clearly attracted to me.
Yes, I agree, this is a really great party.
Speaking of parties, who are you going to vote for this fall?
Who’s that, Ron Paul?
Why? Because you want weed legalized? Oh,
I want pot legalized, too.
Would I like a beer? No, no thank you.
I don’t drink. Why, you ask.
Well, let me explain using this poem I happen to have.
The name of this poem isThe Revolution Will Not Serve Budweiser.
I shouldn’t have to explain why I’m sober
because maybe I used to get messed up
by my fucked-up father
when I was a scared small child who cried
when I smelled Papa’s liquor.
Or maybe a drunk driver
head-on killed my mother
when at 90 miles an hour
he drifted into the other lane and severed her
body in two! Right after
she picked me up from a party I wasn’t even supposed to be at.
You see, I should not have to explain why I’m sober
because maybe my big sister
got way too drunk
after some frat-boy-flirt
slipped a date-rape that sunk
to the bottom of her glass and went
straight to the top of her head
causing her to drink her soon gang-banged body
so full that in the morning we’d find her dead.
Or maybe I just don’t like the taste.
But even if that’s the case,
I should not have to answer to your
potentially-painful, wound-opening, prodding peer-pressure.
Now, I am sure you are curious
so I will answer you just once, very serious,
with the reason, no!
the reasons why I am sober:
When we talk about hunger in Uganda,
Burma, or Brazil,
as we sit at a fine dining table and consume our hard-earned fill,
we’re not speaking of backwards
savages, dumb and untrained, who failed to find
food the year it never rained.
When we talk about hungry children, all proper and rational,
that we see on commercials for compassion international,
we are talking about stolen capital.
Taken from the hands of aboriginal people
by the long arm of the multi-national and the complex-
So when I stare the obese in the face
baffled by the simultaneous overconsumption
and starvation of the human race, I
want to ask, although it might be rude,
Why in the world is there not enough food?
Why do the hungover Sunday-pew-aisle-sleepers
sing “Gloria!”
while the malnourished multitudes suffer
and starve in Somalia?
You see, I should not have to explain why I’m sober
when farmers forgo sowing
healthy crops
by planting
So when you ask why I don’t consume,
like it’s the elephant in the room,
I’ll show you the true elephant, and
it’s a billion people living on less than a dollar a day
forced into sobriety by an economic prohibition of nutrition.
Meanwhile, mono-cropping wheat sets
our soil on the path to destruction,
and the planet’s on the brink
so we can have more cheap beer to drink. Yeah,
we could feed the world over and over if
we were all a little more sober.
It’s not like these are new situations,
or it all happened accidentally.
Fire water proliferated then devastated
the first American nations
and tore apart their families
for the sake of stealing the sacred land
to turn food and drink into commodities.
But who produces these potent potables and why?
A group of investors making millions off our bad habits,
by showing our mothers, sisters, daughters in
photo-shopped, bare-all-skin,
and prostituting them as sexual doorways
with the bottle as a man’s way in.
How objectified must women become
strutting between Super Bowl plays, half-naked
falling in 30-second-love
with men who are fat, lazy, and dumb
before we stop buying the drug?
These problems are not disconnected. The ecological abuse by the agricultural capitalist
is the marketed rape by the commercial chauvinist.
Oh, we say we want revolution, yet how
can we revolt when the radical still drives a car but even worse,
pays two to four bucks a can at the local bar
for the Miller-owned PBR?
My pre-licensed therapist serves spirits to pay her bills. And
she says the saloon solicits $3000 a night
on weekend nights alone. That is $9000
in taxes paid to king booze on its bubbling throne.
Multiply that by 50 weekends a year, and we see
$450,000 spent on wine, liquor, and beer.
Multiplied by a conservative 1000 bars in L.A. County
equals 450 million spent drinking annually. Pretty
bad? It gets worse, as you might guess,
450 mil. is half the national budget used to solve homelessness.
And what about the vets?
Especially the ones with PTSD,
the Army doesn’t want to pay for their psychiatry,
and you can bet they don’t teach
the healing process of transcendental meditation
making the six-pack the final form of self-medication.
After fighting and dying for the profit of the elites,
we give 40 oz. for medicine before
putting trained killers on the streets.
So there’s something you should know,
the alcoholics sleeping in tents down on skid row
are sealed-and-stuck to their fate
by the alcoholic culture we all help create.
But wait,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry,
you wanted to know why I’m sober.
Well, I guess, I just don’t like giving money to a
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
But I shouldn’t have to explain why I am sober.

About ben adam

The world is going to hell in a handbasket, and we might miss Armageddon because we're too busy watching MTV and CNN. Please, read a book, throw a ball, bake some bread, and for goodness sake, turn the TV off.
Gallery | This entry was posted in anti-capitalism, Anti-imperialism, Anti-militarization, Capitalism, Critique, Environmentalism, Feminism, Homelessness, Patriarchy, Poem, Politics, Resistance, Revolution, Struggle and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Revolution Will Not Serve Budweiser

  1. Tyler says:

    Ummm….why no comments people?

  2. travis says:

    Saw this on JR. I’m in Long Beach. Don’t see many Christian anarchists around CA. There’s a small group of us doing bible study down here. Just wanted to make us aware of each other. We visit Tribe down town once in a while.

    Enjoyed the piece too.

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